the black cat

I dream the same dream. In different places, and different stories, you always come.

And when you do, I crumble.

But the beginning is the same

him and i are together

Little hand wrapped around my finger

Nothing more than my life wrapped around his.

My heart hasn't yet been broken

The darkness no longer follows me

Save for the cat

Fur as dark as an Arctic night,

Eyes as green as the jungle,

The cat slinks across the road in front of me

As if I am not there at all

It brings the darkness with it, rolling in like a summer storm

The smell is in the air

And I know you will arrive soon

It is already too late to say goodbye

First the pounding in my chest

Now my breath is gone

My heart hurts more and more and more and more until finally

The ache has become something new, someone I don't recognize

Flee

Flee now she says, as she starts to run away from me

I open my mouth to call out to her, but nothing comes out

I try to beg and my stomach turns

I cannot breathe

and I cannot catch her

She runs for her life, faster than winter winds

Because she wants to live

When she is gone you come

Hair as smooth as silk

Eyes as blue as the ocean

In a cloud of smoke, a ghoul by your side

I want so badly to see you walk away

You never do, even when you are nothing more than a shadow or a whisper

I want to be the mountain but instead I am the water

I fold around my obstacles, I do not make them fold

And you are the mountain, the one I cannot climb

You do not walk away

You stay, laughing at me in your silence

You stay

And I fold, knowing that the dealer always wins

I wake

And the black cat lays in my bed, guarding me from you

So I can fall into the dark and dream another dream

Tonight you are not a whisper or a shadow

You are the light casting the shadows

You are a siren's call, piercing my ears until they bleed

And I cannot wake

With no way back to safety, I run towards the danger

My toes hang off the edge, the ocean beneath them

It calls to me, a gentle song of peace

Too eagerly I follow to where I ought not go

And I cannot breathe

I choke on the things I want to say, my own venom burns and curdles my blood

There are no words to describe how much I hate you and yet

I love you, and how? You, the monster of my nightmares?

How can I want so badly to drown as long as you are there?

And I know you will be there, because you stay

The water has washed my hate away, all that is left is pain

Can you hear me? From the depths?

I understand

I am tired of the darkness

Do I need to scream it? Or whisper in your ear?

Do you want me to beg?

Rip my flesh apart and leave the void in my soul alone

If my blood would make you happy,

I would hold my wrists out for you to slash

Or my neck for you to bite

I want to love you, and for you to love me back

I fall to the bottom

Only the smallest amount of light up above me

A star I wish on, for a little hand to pull me out

And that's when you come

You pull me to the shore where the black cat waits, licking its lips

I know it is spite that has made you do such a thing

But maybe there is no spite without love

Maybe you too, want to love me, and for me to love you back

Mountains without rivers are desolate

And water without land is a graveyard

So tell me you can hear me

Wake me from this nightmare

Wake me before I sleep forever

And love me back