THE BEACON

My whole life I've waited for a savior to save me from these waves of desperation addiction anger and ultimately the pain.

feeling lost in a lifeboat in the middle of an ocean of misery looking for a star, a Beacon, something to guide me because I can't see,

Only once I stopped looking outside of myself did I pick up the oars & start rowing with no destination, I just needed to move. I waited for so long finally realized no one is coming to help I need to do this for me with no hesitation,

Struggling against the storm waves ten feet high, rain coming down in sheets I had to dig deep remember the only one in this boat is I, honestly, I'm the savior that I seek

This shit is not easy, believe me, this struggle at times will make you queasy a lot of times I thought to quit, tried giving up thinking this is it something smashed into the boat, another addict, holy shit!

I've felt so alone for so many days, "how did you find me?" He said, " You were the only source of light through these dark and dreary days of fighting against these waves, days ago I gave up and just let myself drift". I think back and realize those were the days I had picked up the oars & my struggles have actually been a gift to others despite myself through my determination and unwillingness to give in so many things have started to shift.

He said "I've been searching for a light a beacon of hope thank God I found you and I'm no longer alone. You are my saving grace it must be fate I can't do this alone." So we tie our boats together and I notice the waves are no longer as bad our struggles together have strengthened our craft. We kept rowing together you have to move you can't just stay still it's about progress not only strength of will, every day more addicts came along most of us stayed together although many we had lost. I look back to those days dark and dreary as all I did was float out of my struggles and pain giving up I refused & in so doing so I became a beacon of hope to other addicts a refuge, I will always remember I didn't just save them because honestly they save me too.