The aftermath of a breakup

I sleep on the left

Where i slept on the right

I colored my hair again

Cause they didn’t feel enough bright

I bought new clothes,

Changed even my rings

Bought pearls and silver to replace the diamonds bling.

I style myself more

Put makeup on, do my hair

It’s like i’m proving to myself

I’m ready to be out there.

But my biggest mistake was

To not notice i did it all

And when i lay in someone else’s arms,

my hand upon their chest

Their breathings too loud in my ear,

that I don’t want to hear,

And even tho i try my best

to feel good, to not cringe,

They don’t fit the body imprint

We with years had perfected.

I told myself i was fine,

That grief for a long time had been done,

You didn’t come to mind

When i was singing my love songs

But still as i lay on my back,

Somebody else holding me tight,

With my eyes closed, thoughts run back,

It’s you that comes visiting at night.

I don’t dream of relations, or futurs or plans ahead

Cause all that I had planned just came crashing down with waves,

But you still live in my mind

As you’ll probably ever will

Just that it’s something i also didn’t plan,

Emotions have never been something easy to deal with.

I changed myself, or it all has changed me,

Part of me i’ve never seen, or never thought that would be,

Emotionally not ready to take on the world,

Even though time’s ticking by and wish someone to hold

Forced by a defensive heart to take it all slow,

A wound has to heal to sustain a blow.