The Abyss of Addiction

When my heaven was dark and so blue

When my mother deep down, she knew it was true

I found you in the storm and I felt what I desired

What a fool to think of what my breaking heart conspired

Swimming in my dark thoughts, I want to be with you

Still drowning in my terror, I can’t wait for the it to be true

For I cannot wait any longer, I need to see it here

There is no luck or blessing for the poor to interfere

For what is luck and what is blessing, but a curse

There is nothing I can do to stop it or reverse

There is nothing to stop death down here on earth

Nothing to keep me, nothing to acknowledge my worth

For what is pain and what is suffering, but the opposite of pleasure

Why do i feel so inclined to show this world that I’m clever

What is the point of it all, what is the point in slowing down

What keeps me alive is what keeps me dying, so I drown

I can’t stop the torment yet I must continue to breathe

For nothing here is quite what it seems, so I seethe

I boil up to the utmost extreme, hoping I land in my dream

Addiction at it’s finest, for any bit I find myself to scheme

Lust, drugs, liquor, money and that deep, deep love

It doesn't matter what I do, I never seem to have enough

Through it all, I still choose to never look above

As if I do it to show some kind of rebuff

If I can’t do it then, how can it be

Why do I lay down thinking of she

As if she’ll come to my rescue, it’s always been you

I look all over, so far, but so few

Why do I watch the stars thinking of you

It’s all a game until I finally break through

At my finest I still yearn for it, even if it’s corrupt

It’s really you, always been you and I really want to disrupt

I want chaos and I want pain but I sit here and remain

This abyss of addiction still has me tied to a chain

What do I really yearn for, I listen to the desperate echo

My mind, we find, was made like this from the get-go