That's Okay

I can feel it crawling in my skin,

Stealing every breath, it's just a perfect storm

I feel like I'm slowly losing control

Like kryptonite is spreading through my veins

Hello, can anyone hear me?

Please won't someone come save me

My mind and heart are racing,

Warring, fighting one another

Do I be the perfect projection everyone expects me to be

Or do I just let go and be imperfectly me?

This battle truly is my immortal enemy

Or maybe I'm just my own worst enemy

So many words and emotions buried deep inside

My mask is cracking, do I dare let the light in?

How much longer can I keep going?

Will this nightmare ever end?

I swear sometimes I can see the light at the end of the tunnel,

But no matter how far I run, it keeps slipping through my fingers

This thundering waterfall of a cry,

It's just the beginning of my dam slowly cracking

Sugar and spice make everything nice

But what do I do when it's all gone sour?

I'm trying to find my place in my own story

But the hand that is writing no longer feels like my own

The cynic inside me tells me it never gets better

While the critic beside her tells me I could do better

Where do I go? Who do I turn to?

Is there a pill to make this all better?

I'm trapped in my own skin,

This self-induced comatose, a hell of my own making

I've gone so numb, is there a last resort?

Will an overdose wake me up or send me further under

How much must I sacrifice just so I can feel better?

Will I ever feel better?

I've spent so much time patching up my dam,

But maybe that's one wall that needs to fall

I know I'm not perfect,

But could I be worth it?

Can I just be me?

Flaws, scars, and all?

Can I learn to put me first?

Can I look back on the baggage and learn to let go?

Start with today, take that first step

Learn and work to be better?

Remind myself that I'm not okay,

But that's okay