Tales of Torment: Fatal Repetition

For what, is this worth?...

that by day, my mind scripts the same story from every angle imaginable...

and that by, night my heart fights the same war for no victory to ever become imaginable‐

How many more times will the same Tales of Torment be spoken?...

only to find no relief, no peace...

this torture, no part of me has chosen, but...

between this battle and myself, someone will meet their end...

but before I get too far ahead or claim to be too far gone let me just—

*sigh*

Forgive me,

I'm just...

overwhelmed–

again...

by all I can't comprehend

and what I can only hope to one day understand‐

Any single thought is simply one too many,

as are all feelings in all ways in which they vary‐

I'd rather not go over this another time,

I'd rather use my limited time to write about a better time‐

Every page I write on feels the suffering I describe

both my pen, and myself are exhausted...

from writing of such an exhausted topic,

desperate to change the subject, but...

this is "the what" that stays on my mind,

the parts of it that I haven't lost, that is...

and for what?

To forget tomorrow?...

again?...

and start everything from the beginning...

To be at square zero of being misunderstood every morning...

will eventually prove to be the fatal repetition that will have led to what will be a day of mourning‐

What then, is to follow?...

I'm on borrowed time, always running‐

Who's to benefit from this journey?

Who will bring a point to this aching?

Will healing take place by the time that, that point comes to be?

I hope to not be doomed to the dealing of the cards in my hand...

I'd rather not have the sound of my heart's tears form the beat of the music I feel I've been forced to face, but...

What am I to say when it's not my voice that's decides my purpose and place?

I've tried too many times to assume control,

only for my countless attempts to be in complete vain...

and so far it is to no avail that these Tales of Torment are told‐

There is no story I'm trying to sell,

I simply want a break in the clouds over my head...

or at least a break in the crowd the clouds in my head‐

I can only wish to write about something else...

and I can only request that this cloud of witnesses try with me to understand all that neither of us can—

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Thank you for reading, here are some of the other stories that are from the Tales of Torment collection...