Swollen

maybe

all I want

is for someone to say

that it will all be okay.

even if it’s a lie

maybe

I still wish I could hear

that it’ll be alright.

or maybe

it’s really dark over here

and I was hoping

for a hug

to help calm me down.

maybe

that’s all I need;

for someone to realise

I really want to be seen.

maybe

that’s all I want right now -

not to argue

and not to scream

as I rewrite all the words

think about it - I’ve been fighting the urge

to kick myself

for not being perfect.

oh, the comparisons snuck on me

so now, genuinely all I need

is a hug and a kiss

a pat on the back.

words of advice

other than “that’s that”

maybe I don’t want to say

that it’s all over

because “that’s how it goes”

won’t acknowledge the hurt in this moment.

maybe I’m scared

cause I’m doing it alone.

in theory it’s natural;

in practise, it opens a hole

and let’s the sky seep back inside

the stars filtered out

because their words are too kind.

only the depths of the galaxies are found

so I am left crying in the bathroom

with puffy red blotches

on my cheeks,

and eyes like stained glass windows.

I guess tomorrow will still come -

and I can hope for less rain,

and I can be okay.

-