sensible madness

I'll dig a trench to Wonderland

Suffocate on the way down.

I'll stuff my face with endless twisted cakes

Feeling something because of my shaking lungs.

I'll take long drags on the caterpillar's pipe

Spelling out cruel swear words I've said to myself.

I'll learn to live in the in-between space

The time zone where urgency doesn't quite feel right.

And I'll stay drunk and numb in the White Queen's castle

Once the tea is dried; I'll try to learn to fight

The urge to vomit because my hair turned red

And the faces of taxidermy animals chased me

Into the lair of the Cheshire Cat.

I'll throw cups and saucers at his apathetic grin

And I'll cry because I don't know any magic tricks.

Once my stockings have turned black

From all that cigarette smoke;

And I've tamed each beast to crave cake

I guess I'll wander back to the ladder someone dropped

Down the rabbit hole

Because initially, I'd said that I didn't want to stay.

I'll trip and spill my deck of cards,

Smash a pocket watch on glass bricks.

In pain, I'll tumble down the checkered spirals

Because I did not get the correct chance

To save myself from the depths of this place.

I'll practise croquet like one of the Heathers

Confined to stone walled gardens.

As my dress turns from blue to pink

From the feathers of the flamingo I hold upside down

Before shattering the ball against its head.

I'll crawl into the space where the darkness lurks,

An unoccupied hallway

With doors that don't need keys.

And I'll wish I was as precious

As the friendship of the twin brothers

Who were mocked just for entertainment's' sake.

I'll discard the ribbons I'll have collected

From the Mad Hatter who called me kind,

And use fine thread as stitches for every wound and bruise

That had come to replace my polite smile.

Wonderland left its mark on me,

A seed rooted deep in my mind.

Nevertheless,

I'll use the floating shards of Victorian furniture

As a path to climb toward real life.

Maybe with longer limbs

And a hardened heart

I'll be able to move on from the time I spent in Wonderland

While finding fun

In what I had tried to avoid.

~