Stepping Out

I was hiding,

pain subsiding.

Numbly gliding through life

with eyes closed to the strife.

Gave up the fight,

threw my hands up,

walked away,

Because I couldn’t give a fuck.

But I cracked

like a nut

from pressure deep within.

Blood spilt out from the tears in my skin;

original sin.

Throw me up

and lock me in

the fuckin’ looney bin.

But you saw through the glass.

You saw past the mask

and surpassed all my lies

to my soul through my eyes.

You did not deny

that my issues were mine,

and told me quite candidly

that I, single-handedly,

caused my own pain by playing mind games;

that I was to blame

for feeling ashamed.

I had to let go and

let myself know

that I am beautiful from head to toe.

That I am beautiful from head to toe!

I am Black,

I am loud,

I am gay,

and, fuck,

I’m proud.

If you get in my way

I will break yo’ ass down.

I am gifted, it’s no joke.

The curtains lifted,

watch the show.

Did yo’ broke ass pay admission

to listen to this exposition?

Or did you sneak in prayin’ and wishin’

to hear me speak of my remission?

I give myself permission

to throw you out at intermission

if you are the least bit dismissive

or fall asleep and choose to miss this.

I am real, feel my power;

see my zeal, a blossoming flower

once forced shut by the oppressive dark,

now brought to life by the morning lark.

I have arrived.

I am here.

My drive?

Lack of fear.

I’m not weak and I am not broken.

If you defeat me I must not have spoken

loud enough for you to hear me.

I am here

and

I dare you to see me!