stay with me, okay

as writers, we're meant to make the first line really banging

but what if we make the first line short and dull

and make the second line shine?

make it drive deep, hook, twist

pull in my reader by his guts and curiosity?

like a bull yanked by his nosey

what if we lay a sneaky precedent

prove it's worth sticking with it

after all, i had to

to get this out of my brain and on to the page

so don't let apparent boringness put you off

oh no

it's worth it to push through

because look, here, isn't this next line

delicious in your mouth? in your brain?

when you see no sheen,

know you're following a crumb trail

to a worthy reward.

come in, come in, little children

the door looks like it's made of oatmeal raisin

but can't you see the ice cream sundae through the window?

go on, have a nibble on the frame. it's full of fibre. health!

what's that i'm decorating?

oh just german chocolate cake

have a fat sticky slice to wash down your oatmeal-raisin-sentence

go on

meanwhile, behind my eager smile, i think

you've no idea

how much of my blood, sweat and tears went into all those second lines

and first lines

carefully constructed confections you carelessly discard at the first split infinitive

to see you push away the wilting salad

even though it's got croutons!

i know you want my painstakingly prepared word dessert

but who eats pudding first?

you can't have your hobbit unless you have a bit of silmarillion

go on just one bite, i know it's heavy

oh, all the scheming and pruning and subliminal messaging

anything to keep you here

in my crumb-ly story house

to suck you deeper

swallow you whole

keep you safe in my belly

my little reader baby

warm and cosy

pat pat

if i had my way

i'd never let you out

if i had my way

you'd never want to leave

you don't want to leave

do you

you're still here

aren't you

just as freaky as me

our minds are made for each other

perfect together

forever

...

...

...

oh, this?

just the key

to my little house

my heart

you won't be needing it

i can't eat it though

for safekeeping

because then it would land in my belly

and you might escape

muttering

this is too weird, even for me

gotta be honest

i don't blame you

will you take me with you?

not sure i like it in here

when does this train leave the station

i've fallen so far down this rabbit hole

of mixed up clumsy metaphors

i'm not even sure if i should be on it or not