Square One

Back to square one, where I’m building a home

Out of lost anniversary cards,

I remember the ways I wrote them

Before those days were hard

***

My voice, it cracked as levers whacked

My glassy pinball mind

My teeth were gold as my body folded

Into the bottomless pit

And gravity fell onto my shoulders

***

Ravenclaw, Slytherin

I lauded his ambition

With my love-creative mind

I wanted to protect the throbbing heartbeat next to mine

Gryffindor, Hufflepuff

I sliced the fairway into the rough

When my passion ended up sand-trapping me

In self-destructive loyalty

***

When I fell into the volcano

It kicked me down a few pegs

But trying to outrun the lava flow-

It taught me to use my legs

***

Now I sprint to the glint of the future

With a chain around my neck

That’s waiting for a pendant medal

I haven’t earned quite yet-

But it isn’t red or cinnamon pink

Like my original fantasy

It’s gold, it’s bold and written in stone

Like a permanent victory

***

I’m building a home on square one

Where the cannon has shot me again

Breathing a sigh of acceptance

As another relationship ends

And the home I’m building on square one

Isn’t built for two, but one

It’s a home I’ll have to maintain myself

But a home is better than none