Spoken Word: Unsent Letters VII

Damn like I’ve been hurt before

But this time it’s different

This time I have perspective

And it’s

Drawing out the worst and the best

The intense

The Pretty

And the stressed

The pretty much unbalanced

Yet

Most balanced parts of me

And I think

That I’m finally free

From the bondage of self torment

That latches onto me

when I’ve been broken

Attaches the pain

To my brain

Mentally replaying

Til I’m mentally drained

Mentally praying

I’m not mentally slaved

To mental self hate

It’s mentally deranged

I’m mentally enraged

Mentally engaged

The mental capacity

To be mentally brave

And mentally break

Deep mental patterns

From generational chains

And I came a long way

from being dead in the grave

Dead to awareness

Made me mentally insane

Making new connections

That keep ending the same

Reliving life lessons

Until I stopped biting the bait

Rewriting my intentions

So I Attract a better fate

I’m not looking for anyone

to heal or fulfill me

I just desire a safe space

Sacred place

For me to lay

My head to rest

Heart to nest

As I renew my strength

A protecting place

One that doesn’t take

Advantage of the vulnerable stage

Because I work too damn hard for my healing

To risk being exposed to relapsing pain

There’s so much I’ve gained

From being aware enough to

Recognize and not re entertain

The same

Red flags that keep the cycle in place

And if my power makes you

Uncomfortable

Get out of my way

I will not lower myself

To convince you to stay

And even if I was left with no one

To assure that I’m safe

I have the presence of God

And His mercies are new

And new everyday

I work really hard to recognize the fake

And I work even harder to

Not push the real away

Set aside my pride

And acknowledge my mistakes

I apologize

For times

I shifted the blame

So I wouldn’t have to take

Accountability

And wouldn’t have to change

The manipulated luxury

Of staying the same

Refined my mind

And ignited a flame

Purified through time

Prosperity rains

Flooding with grace

Filled past the rim

So close to my lips

Awaiting to taste

Hydrating my faith

To speak living things

To come into play

Easier said than done

And I’m doing great

Pulled the plug

On the run

No need to escape

Dedicated

To elevate

Take the stairs

To teach my legs

Wipe the sweat off my face

Building endurance

For every phase

Step 12 sometimes feels like step 1

On harder days

Never giving up

Born to pave a way

For a generation

Not yet born today

I’m giving everything I have

To slay

Every giant

To prevent my descendants

From being enslaved

Persuade

Played

Tossed back and forth

Uncertain and afraid

I will defeat these enemies

Because I’m free in my mind

My thoughts are in line

Nothing can imprison us

I’m linked to the divine