Spoken Word: Unsent Letters V

He’s a fun boy

Crazy highs and lows

You’d think I’ve had enough

Boy I wish

He‘ll never leave me alone

Not Permanently

It’s the audacity

He thinks

He can come in and out

Confidently

Except about his whereabouts

And feelings for me

He won’t share about

But he’s the only one I’m supposed to

care about

Ironically

And it’s ironic and a bit self sabotage-y

I have a history

Of men thinking they be ownin me

And I don’t recall getting a ring

But I stay getting his rings

At night

Guess I won’t be sleepin tonight

He’s a fun boy

Hit and run boy

Get it done boy

Don’t fall in love boy

He’s not the one

And he got a few

Like ugh, you think I can’t replace you

I’ve had boys fall in love with the same name as you

But I guess we’re both down bad

I don’t know what’s worse

You still calling me

Or me still answering

When I have you blocked from Instagram

Yeah, I guess we’re both down bad

And I don’t know what’s worse

Your sporadic drunk calls

Or me sending you a text that came from my notes first

But I be dazin

Day blazen

Day dreaming

Bout him lately

Haze hazen

New haven

Bay native

I’m amazing

I love when I don’t miss him

Or that male validation

I love when I’m about Me

And stay the hell away from datin

And if I ever want it

All I gotta do is walk outside

Or stay in

I made a hinge last night

Less than 12 hours

I already had 50 plus likes

No swipes

That’s the amount of time

I used to spend

With you on FaceTime

Yikes

How time flies

I won’t lie

I loved those times

Always know if you ever need me

You always have me in your memories

So tap into that

Instead of my line

I can still take up the space in your head

Without you wasting my time

He’s a fun boy

Never enough boy

Doesn’t shut up boy

Pretends that we’re cuffed boy

His imagination goes wild

And mine, even better

Imagine what we could accomplish

If we were actually together

I don’t stay there for too long

I like to keep my thoughts of him

Synched

To his pattern and

This fairytale is just too unstable

To put happily ever after in

Yeah I accept it

Like I accepted him

Blew away the wish

And gave it to the wind

Not my problem anymore

I’ll attract another Prince

I want a knight for the night

Sit on the thrown of his lips

Spare the horse

And just ride him

Don’t forget

I’m a fun girl

Gets it done girl

Takes shit from none girl

Here comes the sun girl

I’m a dream girl

Beauty hauntings in your sleep girl

Possesses you to pick up your phone when you drink girl

I’m a free girl

Smokes weed girl

Surrounds myself with pretty things girl

All flags green girl

A sweet girl

Innocent look

But freaky as can be girl

Built to be the one

But just let me be girl

Creative and artistic

Poetic as can be girl

A masterpiece girl

They all want a piece girl

But I’m about my peace girl

Life of luxury girl

It’s in the palm of my hands

And I’ll be damned

If I get sucked in

By another fun boy

Masquerading as a man

I’ve retired from the fun boy life

401k with a pension plan

Survivor of the fun boy ride

Post the pic with no tag

Soft launching is my jam

Now I’m on to better things

And you lingering

isn’t part of my plan

Can’t have him getting comfortable

When he’s not there to fill my cup and mine alone

Yeah, It’s in the palm of my hands

So imma just dust them off

And walk away while I still can