Spirit Shock

Hours among flowers, dirtied with mud

Those days long ago, with my earthen bud

Are now only dreams. Though it seems that the matter remains

Time goes on, and what was must change

Reminded though I am as I stroll through the park

En route home, passing the children able to stay up past dark

I watched as they laughed and pointed to the sky

Asking questions about what it all is and why

Such wonder was a bad distraction

Vague questions about the world in abstraction

Do not get projects done and are no real help to anyone

As I came to adulthood, what I have found, is

No mystery ever solved had been bound in magic

Tragic was the slow seep of deep wonder

If nothing hears a treefall there is no sound

What’s made is frequency

Vibrations our ears hear

Shifting color our eyes see

Without qualia sense cannot be

My emotions frayed, thoughts unsteady

The kingdom of Heaven, I thought, Is not within me already and so

To find the Light I made it my mission to

Achieve success in scientific ambition

There is beauty in duty, I had always been told

The dragon must be slain, for the finding of the gold

Years of hard work and complete dedication, I was

Offered opportunity to monitor the new space station

A nightly chore, when the post can be seen

A dream for me when I was a teen but

As my life has become nocturnal, there set some infernal

Longing for internal sheen of shine Something eternal something divine

But the Light was no longer mine

Where once there was variety in what I saw

There was grey, when there had been colour before

But I am smart, of course, this I can overcome,

To despair I shall not succumb

With ease or by force I shall build myself new

Without greens, purples, reds or blue.

***

I woke early one may eve, late post meridian to a bright, sun shining day, golden of hue

And the world bathed in the most glorious yellow and blue

Upon the dune I watched the moon rise high

And stars twinkle in the sky

Dusk fell and colour began to change

A phenomenon, ever so strange

Daylight blue, the a gentle hue, bled pink

Shadows lengthen as the sun sinks

The glory I felt could not be expressed

As I looked out into the west, knowing my work would soon begin

And at last the night had come, and I felt nothing within

The universe above did shine

And reveal the Heavenly realm divine

Yet the earth had become dreary

Purple roses, budding fruit now eerie and now only different by shade

Redbrick walls, and green grass blades

Are all coloured the same Locked away at my project,

Doable only in the dark I became used to the dull and the bleak

But a heaviness within began to sneak

Cosmic graphs and empty laughs began to take their toll

Since beginning of the long night, I had not once felt whole

It took me time, but I had to admit I would not survive unless I quit,

Unless I returned to the Light, where I could see

To the bright of day, where the colours would be

And so to the morn did I flee

To the dawn, where I did finally see

The great holy sanctuary, the skyward leaven

And as the colour swirled and shifted, I found heaven

Reacquainted now with the Light – my friend -

I vow never to become darkness again

For an eye deprived of colour

Like an ear without music is a soul lessened

As I watch the sun rise Such joy I derive

The greatest reminder that I am alive Colour has shown its worth

The beauty of this life on earth