Somewhere Between The Calm And The Tornado

It's been years since I saw you, and it feels like forever.

Imagine the light that shone brightly in my heart when I saw you

working in my favourite, regular shop.

It felt like I had been given a gift,

A new heart from you, in place of the one you broke;

But, as they all tell me,

"New hearts don't stay new forever."

You broke mine, almost as soon as you mended it,

You spoke to me in the way that I always remembered,

Like old flames,

Who were meant to be friends forever,

Sadly;

That was the only time that you spoke to me,

And, the only time you probably ever will, since I haven't seen you since,

You refused to tell me your name,

Don't you find that kind of silly, since you knew that I knew who you were?

You have been running all of your life,

I still remember;

Here one minute

Reconnecting with me,

And making me feel those emotions you know so well,

Reassuring me that I can trust you,

I can talk to you,

That,

No matter where you are, you will be there.

Yet another problem, though,

It doesn't last long;

You spent months showing me that special friendship in the 90s when

I needed it most,

Then you disappeared again,

No address,

Just a goodbye,

"I'll see you around,"

Do you remember telling me that?

I did see you,

After 4 years of facing trauma alone,

And,

That was only once,

Then, thinking you had nothing left, because I was now married,

And your ex had left you,

You ran away, again,

Leaving my soul in the dark, and my heart broken;

This time;

No goodbyes,

I even left our address,

"You can come and see us anytime you want to"

I told you,

You thanked me for that,

But you left my hope sinking year after year,

I spent those long years,

Looking out of the window,

My eyes wandering,

And my heart hoped that you would show up just once,

You never did.

I guessed that your silence was our final goodbye,

And our conversation in the shop was our final one,

I want you to know that somewhere between the tornado and

the calm,

I have found peace, though it isn't total peace,

I have learned that I have to let you go,

Because our friendship makes the wind howl louder,

And the world even darker,

It torments me mentally,

And wounds me deeply,

I can't chase you forever,

I can't open a door that chooses to remain closed,

I will most likely see you in the shop again,

Though our friendship died a long time ago,

So goodbye, my dear friend,

I wish you nothing but love and happiness,

But we need to end our troubled sadness,

Please tell me;

Which way do I turn?