Lying in the dark
My pillow pressed against my cheek
Can’t shut off my head and all I want to do is sleep
*
I Keep running through my mind
All the things that I can’t change
I never thought my life
Would ever be this way
*
I stumble out of bed
Same thoughts banging in my head
I wish I could un-hear all the cruel things we said*
*
Drive myself to work
This world doesn’t stop for pain
Smiles for everybody
Pretending everything’s ok
*
Struggle to contain all the monsters in my head
They’ll all come out to play soon as I get back in bed
*
But now with daylight shining
And my demons locked away
With smiles for everybody
I sold the thought that I’m ok
About the Creator
Kelli Sheckler-Amsden
Telling stories my heart needs to tell <3 life is a journey, not a competition
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Day 4 of Quitting
If this is how sobriety feels, maybe it’s better to go through life a little buzzed… this, along with other hits like, I want to kill myself, I wish I was dead, and I’m going to throw myself off a bridge have been the only thoughts on rotation these past few days. I promise myself that if, in a month, I still feel like this (‘this’ meaning despondent, full of rage, and simultaneously numb) I can go back to smoking. Until mid-February though? Nicotine is off the table.
By sleepy drafts7 days ago in Longevity
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