simple fact: you are the first and last

i know i proved to be very bad at being good

it was never my intent to scorch you

and i still threw the match where you stood

i am still growing, each time i am torn in two

it happens far too often and i know it makes no sense

i know you think its all for no reason, when i go so blue

you told me i am stronger than i think. and fear is what is tied to my feet

i am what is letting me sink

i should try to be less dense

halfway through this

i realize i need to write in the past tense

here is what life is like in the present:

each man's face, each smile, each touch, each p air of eyes

all i see is you

all i feel is you

and so i drink myself blind

i tried to be clean

worthy

steady

kind

but how can i refrain, from second best highs?

i know i have fucked this up a plethora of times

but i can not bear the entirety of this blame

you think by doing and confessing nothing

you're innocent

no reason

in your unruly game

but in withholding what i needed so badly to be s poken

you've given me an endless season

stuck in the winter, looping into an endless chase

to recreate

set in the city of addison

neither of us could completely articulate

i was never yours and you were never mine

a brutal reminding, with each of your silent escapes

that i always was, and that fact remains

some things dont ever need to be said, and how stupid was i

to not see this truth?

our relationship was comprised of invisible

but palpable, undeniable

energy exchange

leaving love notes in any blank space

in the books we trade

s ealed fate

red lipstick stains that you cant taste

all this

done for you

goes to waste

now, it will just have to be okay.

-g.m.t

red lipstick kiss stains

i know you wont appreciate