Silver spoon

You say I’m a white girl,

From a privileged world-

What do you know though?

You didn’t see what I did,

As a little kid...

Put in a place I didn’t want to know.

Wasn’t my choice,

To have a silenced voice.

To grow before I’ve grown.

Kept my secret tight-

Through the sleepless nights-

It became the world I’ve known.

Watched him inject death-

While I waited, holded breath-

And clung to my own life.

Why didn’t you protect me?

The drugs made you reject me.

They took your mind and heart.

Tried to beg and plead,

Unable to succeed-

And we both kept falling apart.

Later through depression,

Never learned my lesson-

Struggled as a wife-

To maintain equal balance-

With death I’ve done the dance;

Do I live or try to die?

It all looks so easy when you’re out and looking in.

Shame was a blanket- I learned to live within...

Now I try to rise above the lies.

Silver spoon in my mouth-

What’s that about?

When really I was about to drown.

The struggle as I bleed,

While the rest of you succeed-

Swallow all that down-

As you judge this book by my cover-

Cried with every lover.

Cut so I could feel,

Something other than my lost soul-

That had turned into black coal.

Finally learning to heal.

Sadness was my go to,

After all I had been through-

It became my constant theme.

You stole what wasn’t yours!

Trying to close those doors...

On a faded little girl’s lost dream.