Shadow Self

My mind is bringing me terrible lies to feed on. Thoughts like “I’m not enough.” Thoughts like “I’m doing a terrible job at being a mother.” Thoughts like “I’m not doing anything important in my life.” As I hold back my tears, I begin to feel a knot in my throat. The tears flow down light a waterfall anyway. I don’t want to cry anymore, I don’t want to feel like a terrible mother anymore, I don’t want to feel like a failure anymore and ultimately, I want to feel like I am enough. I know this is just the illusion I chose to live in. I know I can create this model into the place I want to reside in. I know I can rebuild my mind with steel walls. I know I can live in a state of happiness. I just have to stop trying to be everything for everyone and start being me for myself. I am only human and I am done holding the weight of the world on my shoulders. I’m going to allow my mind to understand that it’s good to take advice from a person who’s actually trying to help. It’s okay to make mistakes as long as you learn from them. It’s okay to be imperfect because nothing and no one is. There will be people who judge me and call out my imperfections, but I will not allow that to dictate who I am. It doesn’t matter how they feel about me. It only matters what I feel about myself.

My heart still feels heavy,

But now my mind is empty.

I can refill my brain

With love and kindness.

I release the pain,

Now I am attracted to happiness.

My thoughts;

“I am becoming an amazing mother.”

“I am always enough for myself.”

“Happiness lives within me.”

“Crying is a beautiful tool for releasing my feelings.”

“I am strong, and I can get through anything.”

“I am opening up my shadow self to heal the parts of me that I deem unlovable.”

“I am okay with being clingy.”

“I am okay with being misunderstood.