semi-charmed

where dreams once lived, terror rules the apex, unbalanced.

it sleeps with me, naked in my bed, consent unsolicited.

but it takes the permission, embodied by morbid desires

whispers of shade claim the world is a mirror, warped

unchained, distorted - hungry to be anything but a monster

with a satisfied grin, despicably believable, opened wide

call it what it wants to be but it is what it is until things change

some nights i bury my pain like treasure in a cloudy mind

a wild goose on the horizon calls my name, calls me closer

it sounds like what i always dreamed of, with sharpened teeth

a sermon sounding good on paper, spoken but left unpracticed

it says a lot to see a world that has monsters to kill

i am haunted by insistent memories of what i am not

and the brother i have with a violating curiosity

one act that stole my innocence and another that broke my trust

and the rest that left me endebted to pay for being betrayed

a sexual guinea pig, an unworthy and fetishized lab rat

no desire for heads or tails of a cursed currency,

unresolved and conflicted about being grateful for the wicked,

i know and i see how it's been twisted, how naive i was

i sing my song for me, regardless of how much of it is heard

crafted into what is my origin story, recollected.

it is your house and i refuse to clean it, indentured

i am the fringe; representative, experimental, antagonistic

a redactical edition, a limitless print supplying demand

i am sorry about the problems you want to be mine

jumping through hoops, out of frying pans, into fires

boldly standing alone at the line, difficult to draw

it is a shape-shifting figment of imagination and desire

spoken to like you think i am a mere unowned burden

undomesticated and feral, creating the room to grow

ask me anything of what happens behind the scenes

the hands of the stage, fully aware of what lurks in the dark

i am semi-charmed, blessed with a stubborn heart and this mouth

i am a quest for meaning but not yet willing to find what i see

just a question whose answer is only variables and unknowns