Self-Destruction

Offer a last dance to the person who hurt you the most.

...

It is impossible to dance with one's self.

But I can picture the exact wry smile that will be worn should the offer be extended.

See the challenge in their eyes as they accept with a spitfire voice that has, and will continue to be my downfall.

We will follow the same steps that bring me there, despite knowing the outcome.

Because what is the point of trying to change when familiarity feels so....

Safe.

...

Self-destruction is branded across my personality.

It is all that I know, all that I have become.

There is no safety in being anything else

Ah. well.

That may be wrong.

Changing for the better would be far safer than what I currently am.

For myself

For others

Because one day this self-destruction will turn against the world which made me this, this

Creature

Self-destruction is something they don't warn you about as you grow.

It is hidden under medication and doctor appointments and mental hospitals.

They don't warn you about what it can become.

You are left to drown in a sea of thoughts that quickly become urges and then actions that are followed through.

You do not realize how it happened when you look back.

It's too late. Too late to turn back to what you once were.

Too late to save yourself from what has been branded across your entire being.

....

Right?

Maybe...

....

Maybe not.