Save Me

When I told you that I loved you

That very first time

I really was saying, “Save me”

I wanted you to take me away

From the nightmare of my past

And protect me from

The uncertainty of my precarious future

And that was not fair of me

You had your own vicious demons to battle

Borne out of the traumas of your own past

And you did not have the courage, fortitude, or strength

To fight for and heal yourself

So how could you save me when you could not even save yourself.

I grew to love you over time

But I lied when I told you

That very first time

And I am so sorry for that

I don’t expect your forgiveness or understanding

But I wanted you to think I loved you,

So, you would protect me and save me.

But ultimately, I could only save myself

And when you could not save me

And would not protect me

And when I did not return your love

The way you needed or wanted me to

And when I could no longer live

The lie our lives became

I left

And you turned toward the same evil darkness

You were comfortable with

The one you fought so hard against for so long

You lashed out at our children to get back at me

You used them to punish me

Never caring about the harm that you did them

Because like your mother and father

You figured you could evntually fix their

Problems with familial money

And you still do

Baby, it doesn’t work that way

You are repeating the same scenarios

And traumatizing them

The way you were damaged

I am sorry I did not love you.

And that you figured it out- Julie O'Hara

If you like this article, please consider tipping (below) or even becoming a patron. My books can be found on my website www.sacredsloth.net or online at Amazon and Barnes and Nobles under the name of Julie O’Hara Thank you very much and blessings on your journey.