Save Me A Seat, Okay?

I sit inside my grief, and the shadows make space for me.

We sit in a deformed circle, Depression to one side of me, Anxiety on the other. They welcome me like an old friend, because I am; because they’ve been here since the beginning. Sadness curls into a blob on my lap like a small kitten, somehow comforting.

My face is damp with tears, some dried, some still trailing down my face like tiny rivers. The shadows reach out for me, but I shake my head, knowing full well that there is light within me now and I do not need to be swallowed up by their darkness to be healed.

I know my emotional state is shakier lately, but my foundations still stand strong, no matter what.

The grieving process is far from over. I like to think I’m getting the hang of dealing with the emotions each and every time, although there’s no exact formula for each specific time. Most instances, the desire to be alone grows at an immense rate due to the desire to keep learning about how to comfort myself. Is there such a thing as healthy isolation? Who knows..

Either way, everything that I have been learning so far has taken an incredible amount of time but when it comes to sharing my wisdom with the world, it only fills up a sentence or two.

Imagine that: months of grueling soul work only equal to a single line.

...Eventually, the shadows disappear and I’m “on” again.

Where to go from here? All I know is that I hope one day, people will make a space for me and save me a seat in their circles, and there will be no room for Depression, Anxiety and Sadness.