Safehaven

Dry heaving as the past drips from the present;

Belief is crawling relentlessly through the cracks of my smile.

Questions of if the pain is worth it is scraping my heart.

I can feel my eyes getting raw the closer I get to happiness.

It’s getting harder to breathe with doubt filling my lungs. 

But I’m determined to beat the hands of fear.

I can’t let old memories crush this happily ever after.

If I just let high hopes numb the burn, I’m sure I can make it in one piece. 

Do you understand how badly I want you?

Do you understand how badly my lips and my fingertips need to feel you?

Do you understand how badly I crave the whispers of I love you as your breath tickles against my ear?

I swear I can taste the good mornings when I close my mind. 

I swear everything I ever dreamed of is trickling down my spine.

I refuse to believe I’m on the wrong side of the kiss;

The wrong side of sacrifice. 

Because I can hear Gods voice shining ahead. 

I must be closer to forever than I realized.

He’s telling me to close my tongue and listen with open arms.

I can hear him saying:

“My child. You think that you are damaged beyond repair. You think that you are too broken to be loved. But I promise you - everything I let you go through has molded you into the masterpiece I’ve sculpted centuries ago. I wouldn’t let you break without being broken into whole. You are the love meant to fill the hole others carved into him. You are his rib and he is your foundation. You need each other to balance the beam. But to sustain, both of you must remember - faith will be the only thing that can hold you up every time you are losing grip. You deserve him and he deserves you. Just believe.”