Runners
Taking inspiration from "The Charge of the Light Brigade", a poem that experiments with rhythm and form and is far from the glory invoked by Tennyson's
Pounding feet across the fields,
Heartbeat's tension's big reveal,
In pursuit of our nightly meal,
Match our quarry pace for pace!
They're running!
We must chase!
*
Fearful scent pervades the air
Barbs of wire catching hair
Snagging ragged underwear,
Match our quarry pace for pace!
They're running!
We must chase!
*
Over hill and down in dale,
Pursuing them, the weary pale:
Whooping at their frightened wail!
Match our quarry pace for pace!
They're running!
We must chase!
*
Gradual weakening starts to show
Plodding, stumbling, getting slow
No time 'til we bring them low...
Match our quarry pace for pace!
They're flagging!
We must chase!
*
Panting, breaths are coming fast
Harder, harder, we must last
Before we taste our dark repast.
Match our quarry pace for pace!
They're failing!
We must chase!
*
Drooling, snarling, getting close,
Their fright assaults the eager nose.
Soon, they'll lie in Death's repose.
Matching our quarry pace for pace.
They're failing!
End the chase.
*
Sumptuous flesh pricked by fang
Air filled with metallic tang
Nothing like the taste of man.
We've caught our quarry, now outpaced.
They failed. We won.
Hunt complete.
*
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By Cathy Schieffelin4 days ago in Humor
Comments (8)
This *feels* like a hunt when you read it, the rhythm feels like panting, and hurrying feet. So clever 😁
Loved it, Rachel. You can feel the pace pick up as you move through the stanzas, but the repetition of the last three lines grounds you for more. Very nice indeed. Good luck!
Into the valley of death rode the six hundred! This is delightful Rachel! Your rhythm and pacing is spot on. I laughed out loud when you revealed the quarry!
BritBud - You are just marvelous they way you flow your words with such ease ~ I often get my ragged knickers caught and twisted..! CalBud
I think my heart started racing faster and faster with each stanza! This was absolutely brilliant. The rhythm, the imagery, the repetition of the chase, it all came together beautifully to put the reader right in the center of the action. If this doesn't place, I'll be shocked and properly angry on your behalf.
I adore the rhythm of this piece - the quick rhyme scheme and repeated closing lines on each stanza really make the feeling of a chase come alive. :)
Well-wrought! The finality of "Hunt complete", forgoing the rhyme scheme, a nice touch that drives home the theme! Or so I thought...
"Panting, breaths are coming fast Harder, harder, we must last" Oops, this made me think of something else 😝😝😝 Loved your poem.!