Rome

i relentlessly pester the driver

i can’t help feeling like he doesn’t know the way

the roadways seem chaotic from where i sit

he drives so slow

such a nice car

going so slow

and then he speeds up and

i am immediately frightened and overstimulated

so he slows down again

“i want to go to Rome”

i tell the driver

he just nods

but i wonder if he understands me

we pass through cities, mountains, deserts….

this doesn’t seem like the way

maybe i should get out and walk

i constantly ask to drive

he lets me

i crash every time

he is kind to me and makes repairs

sometimes i shout at him

what if he hasn’t heard me before?

what if we’re no longer going?

was i not clear?

it shouldn’t take this long

i know we’ve gone in circles

angrily tell him so

he doesn't respond

sometimes he points out a faded sign that says “this way”

and i am grateful when he does

and i am still

but only for a moment

sometimes i think we’re close

so i urge him faster

he takes a detour instead

and my petulance mounts

when i am like this, he gets firm with me, by

pulling the car over and instructing me

to sit to by the side of the road

and think about my behavior…

i watch all the other cars speed by

on occasion, i exhaust myself with panic

like a child after a tantrum

only when i start to nod off into sleep

does the driver speak softly

i know he intends for me to hear him

he says only one thing

“all roads.”

and just before sleep takes hold, i feel a tiny glow of peace inside me

tomorrow i will wake in this same car

we will do it again

one way or another

sooner or later

unavoidably

we are going to Rome.