Robot

There are many things I do not understand,

Least of all attraction.

This is not to say I cannot see beauty,

As I surely can.

However, times are rare when I will feel,

An urge to reach out, touch it, and caress it.

I would say, almost never.

Often, people think they see attraction in me,

When I'm friendly, when I enjoy people's company,

I cannot mask the happiness.

It is a critical failure.

I do not want to seem like I am flirting with everyone.

So, I do not smile, I am curt, I keep my words to myself.

Better to be a robot than to be misunderstood.

When we met, it must have been attraction.

I felt unusual, like happy, but not the same.

Your incredible wide smile.

I have never seen one quite like that,

And since you've gone I've yet to see another like it.

Perhaps I will see that same one before I die.

If I do, I will tell it all the things I foolishly kept to myself.

How what I really found attractive was the kindness,

The bright light within, that could care so much for so little reward.

The humble spirit, the warm soul,

All the things that I am not, nor could ever be.

You've moved on and so have I,

From this single moment in time.

Some days I wish I had never crossed paths with you.

The pain just doesn't seem worth it, but that's my cross to bear.

If I never feel that feeling again, so much the better,

But if I do, I've learned my lesson to squash it down,

To bury it away.

I will be the robot behind the mask,

Since I was made this way.