Ripples

I spent months

Burrowed in my own winter

Hibernating in the womb of my mistakes,

I closed my eyes

To finally see

The depths of

My own unknown

In a cavern of my envy and rage

unbeknownst to anyone

who knows my name

I suffered my own wrath

Lashed marks on my

Eternal soul

I saw fit

My punishments

Were my own.

Until I looked up

And glimpsed upon

My reflection

In a shuddering stream

That scurried beside

My aching body

Depleted,

But delivered,

I turned towards the ripples,

That yearned for my eyes,

To narrow their focus,

Until a glance turned stare,

Could transform,

Even the darkest of monsters.

As the stream grew steady,

I began to see,

My own self hate,

Self pity,

And disguise

As though it was whispering

Back to me a painful lullaby

And thus,

I decided to finally see,

The beauty that lay beneath

The worst moments of my youth,

I gave up expectations

And let my body subdue,

I shuddered in the notion

That this life without its motion

Was just a beating moment

And this eternal fixation

My damage

And damnation

Was only a matter

Of thought

And my own

Distraught

That I was my own master

And my own slave

And I had the energy

To get out of this cave

So I poured the water

Holy, on my back

And watched

As the healing

Hit my current flesh

The aching felt the soothing

Rivers slither down my spine

Begging for mercy

Until I surrendered

Letting the water take my crimes

Alas,

It was not a moment of defeat

To let the universe compete

With a mind

So blind

An ego trip

At my feat

More or less

A lesson learned

A body resurrected

A life endured,

So with scars

a reminder to my flesh

My arrows of memories

Pointing due north

I climbed out of

The womb of my mistakes

And let myself see

Clearly

Another day

An image reborn

Remembered

Of gratitude

In love

And so began

My spring.