your summer began
at calendar heat
but mine was two
rainless prisms
l
i
n
g
e
r
i
n
g
above the canyon floor
scattered god rays
and glimpses into cosmic eyes.
weeks later, it was seedling rain
lightning whelks in watery sky
and only yesterday,
I found gold coins in pewter
its trail
sp —
— lit
fell as water from a grayed-out star.
through misty sunbeams,
iris watched us race down the freeway.
your riot time between mammary storms
was an eager expression,
summer swimming in after-storms.
a promise made in earthen glow
shaped you as a dimming star,
millions of light puddles on the green,
like the coda of a bonfire, long
hot weekends, and rain in the distance.
you
a mere glint on my purlieus.
my summer
sees wedding bands
drawn round the sun
a completed bow
a vow of the season
and my role within it:
to drink light
to look up
and from the dewy-eyed earth,
to breathe.
About the Creator
Mackenzie Davis
“When you are describing a shape, or sound, or tint, don’t state the matter plainly, but put it in a hint. And learn to look at all things with a sort of mental squint.” Lewis Carroll
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Copyright Mackenzie Davis.
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Comments (14)
"like the coda of a bonfire, long hot weekends, and rain in the distance."- I always like things that come in threes in writing, and this is a cool one. Coda means the end of something right? Leftovers? It made me think of the embers or coals. As always, you played with the formatting in such a unique way!
Wooohooooo congratulations on your honourable mention! 🎉💖🎊🎉💖🎊
Back to say congrats on placing honourable mention in the Light Breaks challenge, Mackenzie!!
It fits very well! Beautiful imagery and the formatting makes it such a dynamic read! Impressively done, Mackenzie!
UPDATE for 7/11 Yes, I had previously published this one. Took it off for a while, then republished today because I feel it fits the Light Breaks Water challenge.
I don't know how I missed this but wait a minute, I need to scrape my jaw off the floor! I so want to pick out my favourite line from this but it's damn near impossible. I don't have words in my vocabulary to expand why I love these lines, so I am just going to list them out and bask in their gorgeousness! "a promise made in earthen glow shaped you as a dimming star" "your summer began at calendar heat but mine was two rainless prisms" "my summer sees wedding bands drawn round the sun" "to drink light to look up and from the dewy-eyed earth, to breathe." WOW! I will come back to this time and again. It's electric!
Your flow and spilling and lingering stanzas are well-etched and beautiful. Amazing style and mood.
Wow Mackenzie, this was so beautiful and so solemn. It was emotionally evoking for me. You did a breath taking job of expressing these sentiments and really pulling your readers through the emotions of the narrator! Great work!
Oh my word, I’m kinda speechless! This is GORGEOUS– words, sentiments, structure. Just, wow! How am I not subscribed to you?
That summertime sadness 🖤
Oh this was sooooo vividly beautiful! I especially loved the format for spilt!
I'm basking in glittering phrases ... "seedling rain, lightning whelks in watery sky" - "mammary storms" - "like the coda of a bonfire" ... Mackezie, you make words dance like light on water. Ahhhh!
This is gorgeously written and set out. Well done!
Great piece, I like the Formation ❤️😉💯📝