Rewind

If I could rewind my life like a tape,

I’d hit pause and undo my mistakes,

I’d right my wrongs, speaking only the words of life

I would count each of the words and each of my breaths

Because our tongues hold the power of life and death

And I don’t want to know how many people have died from my silence

My friend Regret, is like a demon lurking in my head

Ready to torment my decisions, my thoughts and analyze them

A sociopath, I’ve had a couple episodes, but in my teens,

Psychosis or desperate?

Regret, my overpaid therapist collecting paychecks

And I paid him with the souls of man,

The souls of the dead,

Nearly bankrupt, I tempted with fate and almost handed over my own

To ease the suffering within my skull.

I would love to go back in time, to rewind, and tell my younger self

Everything will be just fine

If I could travel in retrograde

I’d be overcoming my fears, rather than contemplating them for several years

Sometimes, I dwell on my trauma and I break down, pondering

And suppressing my decisions, lock them in the basement, bottling up my toxins,

My anger is a potential concoction

I wish I could rewind, work through my crime,

Saving more lives with the words that I write.

Lately, I haven’t spoken with Regret,

Nor rekindled the flame. No..

My only option is to hit play,

Afraid of the haunting memories where insomnia attacks,

I can look back, but there’s no correcting the past,

I’m taking this lesson and learning from that

So, I’ve cut off my ties with Regret,

I know it’s a white lie, saying that I’m fine…but…

I made a new friend, and he’s taught me how to forgive and forget.

So, I hit play as the rest of my story continues on…

Sitting back as God finishes the manuscript