Restraining fears

You did this to yourself

You have no one to blame

You’re playing with peoples emotions

What could you possibly fucking gain

You’re so sacred and not taking risks

That doesn’t make sense you stupid bitch

You have nothing to loose

“I don’t want to loose my will to live. I don’t want to loose myself in someone else. I don’t want to need anyone else. I don’t want someone else to hold my oxygen tank. That shit right there. I just can’t.”

You just won’t

Don’t say that you can’t cause all you have to do is let yourself feel again

You’ve never been in a relationship so why are you so frightened

Cause I’ve never heard anything good about a relationship

The only thing that seems good is the being together part and the sex but everything that comes after that just sounds like a mess

I can’t be broken I need to be put together given I have cracks and pieces missing but joking is my glue using comedy to hide from things is what I truly do

I need to be put together because shit hasn’t gotten better I need to make this bread so my family can live better

Fuck I be so lonely sometimes

I would love a boo to confide in and make me feel alright the idea sounds nice but I just can’t bring myself to do it. Now that I’ve run from someone I like so much and can see a future with. My heart just burns at the mere thought of the pain I could endure and choose to let my fingers pass right through it.

I feel as though I deserve to be lonely

Who could ever want me

I think of all the cons and all the things that are truly wrong with me.

Reason with myself that my mom could only love me but in all reality I will not allow myself to get close to anyone that could have all of me.