Normal

I just want to be normal.

I want to be able to walk around and not keep my head down when walking down the street. And when touched not having to hold in the panic attack that is ready to bubble over but have to wait till I get out of the public place.

I want to be able to be with somebody then fall in love and feel loved.

I want to be able to make love and no longer think sex is just for pleasure.

I want to be able to know what loving someone feels like. But I don't know what love means.

I cant walk with my head held high till my chin reaches the stars.

I cant keep my emotions in check.

I cant be with someone longer then it takes them to cum.

I will never make love. And I will never know the feeling of being truly loved by another because I am to never be loved.

I am to never have confidence.

I am never to be normal and I just need to learn to accept that.