reminiscing forward

the day i went back to the dock

where you kissed me

in front of your friends

moments before reiterating

that this would not be another lover story

and that for whatever reason

you could not handle me

and you said it wasn’t me

but it really felt like there was fixing to be done

and i went back to the dock

and i jumped in.

i didn’t jump with you,

i slid in, didn’t hold my nose.

but i plugged it this time

and i felt the heat of the first layer of salty bay encapsulate me and spit me out below, in colder waters and

when i hoisted myself back on the same dock

the same spot

i realized my leg was bleeding

and i remember when your leg bled

and you didn’t know why,

and i recalled the barnacles

clinging to the side.

I think i am the barnacle and the blood and the towel that wiped it clean and my key between your seats and the lingering of hands knowing it was probably the last time

we’d hold on. i hope no one scrapes the barnacles free

because at least they have something

someone to cling

and they remind me of

they remind me.