Reluctance's Cost Over Failure

"Reluctance" is more devastating than "failure."

I have a friend whose husband was a college classmate. They'd been together since their student days, eventually marrying. Life was challenging initially, as neither had much money, but she steadfastly supported her husband.

Naturally, she was angry, but what she found most unbearable was the "reluctance" to accept it. She had supported him through the most difficult times, and now that they were enjoying prosperity, she was to be replaced. How could she accept that? She chose to cling to the marriage, refusing to give up despite the pain, and attempted to salvage it in numerous ways.

The result? Ultimately, she was "divorced."

When I saw her again, she appeared haggard and thin, repeatedly saying, "I just can't accept this."

She could have used that time to heal, start anew, or even meet someone more deserving, instead of trapping herself in a loveless marriage and squandering her youth and energy.

What can we learn from this story?

"Reluctance to let go" is an obsession that keeps you trapped in failure.

Her pain stemmed not from the divorce itself, but from her refusal to accept reality. She feared her efforts were in vain and that she would "lose" to another woman. Thus, she chose to hold on, but this did not alter the outcome; it only intensified her misery.

Failure is not the end; refusing to move forward is.

Loss is inevitable in life, but it does not signify the end. What truly traps people is the unwillingness to acknowledge reality and the refusal to progress.

Your time and energy are your most valuable assets.

She devoted all her time and emotions to "reluctance," ultimately gaining nothing. This time could have been used to rebuild her life, nurture herself, or even embark on a new relationship, but she chose to remain in the past.

Sometimes, acknowledging failure is a victory.

The true loser is not the one who fails, but the one who refuses to confront failure and dwells on the past. Had she recognized the truth sooner and released the relationship, she would have emerged victorious—because she would have reclaimed her life and regained the power to choose.

Life: release when you must.

Unwillingness to let go only keeps us stagnant, preventing us from moving forward. When a relationship, an opportunity, or even a phase of life concludes, instead of dwelling on it, it is better to let go and embrace new possibilities.

Because sometimes, "losing" the wrong battle is your true victory.

Thank you for reading!