Relapse

The dread of your inevitable absence

The dread when this high is past tense

The dread every time I doubt I’m played

The dread of this silence

Dreading to wake up

to learn the brutal truth

That I am only but, a muse

In me you only sought refuge

Ever seen a bigger fool?

Enticed with the thrill of lowly fruit

Hoping to find some unknown truth

Drawn out each time with familiar doubt

I’m yet to learn the lesson given out

It must be a hella art to play your part

One moment you’re the moon and stars

The next you’re the starless night in the dark

Is this your best part?

Your masterpiece, your work of Art?

Ever known no bigger fool

Dawning the Artist’s air of cool

Alas, I’m putting on this Artist’s noose

Singed and charred

Yet never calling truce

These ashes still burn

These patterns they churn

Maybe a masterpiece one day will earn

Pieces of me, call it pieces of Art

Hoping to find a place in your heart

Is there a heart, my Love?

A place where I’d belong

Or am I airey ashes over stone, blowing along?

Why then do I hope?

Why then do I feel

A soul in you that is a part of me?

These aren’t mere questions that ride my mind

This is the pulse in my veins every waking moment of my time

Dropping from the highest highs

I’ve lost count, how many times

Taking this fall yet again

Out this turmoil I’ll crawl

Ever known love and deceit

could brim over and feed a demon that enthralls?

This demon has fed, my Love

I pray it is time to now rest yours.

This poem represents so many things in so many ways. It represents the rawness and anxiety from the absence and the void. It represnts the confusion and doubt, post the celebration and the high. It represents the resilience to face and survive the aftermath. The acceptance of what is, and the courage to own it, to come out on top, and on the brighter side. Most of all, this poem represents the beauty of poetry, in how its story lies in the mind of the reader.

This poem was written from a very vulnerable moment in the poet's life, with very raw feelings, that just as much bring out the tenderness and the mighty power, that graces any struggle. Be it the pride in one's identity, or conquering depression and anxiety, to every battle and victory, let this poem be the prism to illuminate the story of your experience.