Regressed

Regressed,

More and more

And further back

And collapsed under my stunted growth.

Will it become a solace,

Or a memory far ahead?

(Beyond, unwell,

Unreal and created by my lack of acumen)

A-cue-men

A-cute

Acute brain

A cute... men

Gah

Regressed

Unable to sleep

With no place to be

To find peace,

To make reality out of what I believed.

Why did it have to be us?

Why me?

Why us?

Why you?

Why not...

Regressed!

More child-like than I ever was,

Not in a good way, cos it wasn't good back then,

And yet I still have your lips and kiss you with that old want

But I just don't know anymore how to be myself

Or who I ever was

The pain that was caused by our misery

Comes relentless after me,

And the idea of you chases after me,

While the idea of me becomes disjointed in your arms

And I wonder if we'll ever get to breathe again!

Dejected.

Rejected by your name

And by your eyes while you chase all of those beautiful flashes of light

And I chase sparrows in the dark

Regressed!

Regressed to that very time in my life I thought was over when I first met you - let me feel your arms around me and your solidity - but I'm regressed and there's nothing you or I can do about that now

And taking a big breath I still fall into the pit of anguish and despair,

No tears can cleanse my eyes,

No amount of tears can ever heal me

No amount of gold can ever put me back together

Even as this is a line I already said

Or tried to say

About someone else

Who hurt me less

(Or more, considering his purpose and his hate)

But you were never the one who'd cut me open nor shatter me into infinite dust,

And yet you did,

Though you deny it now, you did!

So, who are we now?

How can either of us come back?

Since you will nevermore be that very one

And I will never understand

Why me?

Why us?

Why this?