refraction
(world without end)
Light breaks water-
The phrase is a clipping that ripples through my mind
like the shadows running double-tongued over the walls and ceiling of the old church where we sit
(a place where you go to worship and a place where I decide I can no longer afford to be the person I was the day before- and every day before that)
Thirty-some pairs of hands folded in song, or prayer, heads bowed, waiting for a light from above to plumb their murky depths, birth them anew from the deep.
I hang back. I do not mouth the words. I hover in the quiet and the black of that nether sea and hope I'm never found.
.
Every hymn sounds the same,
the quivering violin heaving, the wooden throats of instruments opening for words generic as the perfectly wrapped Christmas presents under the tree at the mall (I was sure on passing if I'd picked one up and rattled the contents, there'd be nothing inside)
I forgot to take my meds today and the gears in my head tremble on the knife-edge of rebellion.
how sick do you think I am?
is this your attempt to cure me?
The priest harps on the idea of fate- every street a one-way street, every vein leading straight to the heart
(where is the oncoming traffic? where are the signs that say, stop? or even, just for once,
yield?)
.
The day is humid at 9 am already, when we pour into the parking lot, animals set free from the musty cage of inhibition. the lowering clouds of summer thunderstorm kiss the pavement and mutter, turning over in their gray sleep and my hands itch with all of the hands that touched my own, all of the peace-be-with-you's I dropped on the curb outside like luggage.
I liked the homily today, you say.
We both know I'm not coming back.
I'm writing this poem on the back of a notecard as we glide over the bridge, the breathtaking view of miles of choppy waves, one impossible kingdom under no one at all.
the weak pulse of the sun dies, speared and melting, on the white caps of the ocean, and I think:
water breaks light.
.
(or it would, if light could break,
but light doesn’t break, does it?
.
it bends.
About the Creator
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Comments (10)
This is a stunner. The style is magnetic. The imagery is evocative. The language hits SO hard. "I liked the homily today, you say...We both know I'm not coming back." Honest, real emotion. I also loved "The phrase is a clipping that ripples through my mind." Then again, I loved all of it. Fantastic.
Raistlin, I feel truly privileged to have read this. It is beyond a doubt AMAZING! Can't wait to read it again. A well-deserved winning placement on the challenge. I REALLY like this one! 😍😍😍
Wow. This was an interesting addition to the challenge. A church going thought process — from the perspective of exclusion. In the midst of a people who seem not to understand you, but readily inflict pain thinking they are curing you. There were so many lines that I absolutely loved. Contemplating the phrase, light breaks water, was a smart first step. Comparing the hymns to the Christmas gift under the tree in the mall. That was an outstanding creative choice. Empty hymns, empty presents under the Christmas tree. At the end. I liked how you zoomed in on the weak pulse of the sun. And how you contemplated whether light breaks water or whether it bends. Maybe you moved away from the uncomfortable time you had at the church and came out stronger... Congratulations on your challenge win Raistlin 🎉🎉🎉🤗❤️
Beautifully written, and congratulations on your win!
well done! i loved the asides (being a fan of parentheses, myself) and, in particular, the line "or even, just for once, yield?" was a gut shot. it hits hard while also having an exhausted quality to it. it felt as though the speaker had had this exact thought a hundred times and was so tired of having to ask the question again...as if to say, "why am i always the one expected to accomodate? when does someone make room for me...for my voice and my truth?" and the ending was absolutely perfect. love...
Well done! Great take on the challenge.. I was absolutely clueless. Love the conclusion.
congratulations on winning- i love that you pointed out light bends
Wooohooooo congratulations on your win! 🎉💖🎊🎉💖🎊
Astounding work, leaving me speechless. Congratulations on your win, Raistlin! 🥳🥳🥳
This was such an intriguing read. I felt the chaos of your thoughts throughout this piece. I absolutely loved the end. I also really loved the symbolism of the perfectly wrapped Christmas presents that are empty inside. Congratulations on your win!