Reclaiming Your Energy

Don’t let others delay your decisions for too long.

Many people only truly learn how to make decisions after entering a relationship. Because their current living conditions are often stable—they have enough to eat and wear, and even in difficult times, they won't be destitute—it is relationships that most easily trap people in a tug-of-war of exhaustion and hesitation. It is these connections that most easily force you to confront your true self.

First, the most important thing is not to procrastinate; learn to make firm decisions.

Whether that decision is to stay together, to break up completely, or to return to yourself and change your life rhythm, at least you are moving forward consciously. Being stuck in a state of limbo for a long time will only make you gradually lose sight of who you really are.

Second, don’t let any relationship disrupt your basic needs.

Some people say that relationships should be slow, ambiguous, and complicated. However, if you find that a relationship starts affecting your eating, sleeping, or working—and you are investing massive amounts of energy into a "future with no answer"—that is a dangerous sign. A relationship should never be maintained by sacrificing your life.

Third, don’t invest yourself blindly.

Truly lasting relationships inherently involve exchange—not calculation, but mutual growth. When you reflect on why you like someone and what you can learn from them, you transform appreciation into self-improvement. When you prioritize growth over one-sided giving and tolerance, the relationship won’t drain you.

Fourth, everyone needs a diverse and stable support system.

Don’t place all your emotions, focus, and sense of belonging on one person. You can accept their feelings and state of mind, but you don't need to be responsible for every single one of them. When you have enough "anchors" in your life, you won’t collapse just because one person is gone.

Fifth, understand that solitude is its own kind of happiness.

To be without emotional entanglement and the drain of a constant tug-of-war means your emotions are no longer controlled by anyone else. This is a rare and precious state. Many people take a long time to realize how valuable this peace truly is.

Even if you are deeply invested in a relationship, you should grow alongside it. Learn from the other person's strengths and expand your own world. That way, even if you leave one day, you won't feel empty; you will take experience and strength with you as you gently withdraw your hand.

If a relationship causes you to stagnate or fail to grow, don’t let it drag on for too long. Everyone has their own challenges, and a healthy, intimate relationship should help you understand yourself better, not cause you to slowly lose yourself.

By reclaiming your energy and establishing yourself firmly in your own life, you can better care for those around you and remain protected from being drained by anyone else.

Thank you for reading!