Reaching

You make it faster, harder in my chest. I never know what you want from me but I fall into the traps you set every time.

I hate you but I don't. You toy with me and I allow it. You tell me you miss me as you walk away.

This whirlwind of emotions that you put me in is suffocating.

You walk around, stealing glances from across the room. I hope that one day I have the power to look away. Ignore the darting eyes that follow me but I know I don't. I'm not strong.

I fall hard. I fall hard enough that the crash could kill me. But yet, I try. Try to be what you want. Why? Why do I do this to myself?

You were a beautiful horizon in the storm and now you're a lightning bug I'm trying to catch once again.

If you wanted me, you could have me...I'm putty in your hands. You mold me in your arms and I melt along the edges. I'd do anything to be what you want for no reason but to be loved. You were that for a while.

You were the holster that contained me but you've fallen off and I'm colliding with the ground, wishing you would catch me...