Powerhouse

Mirror Mirror on the wall, I am upset with you today. You lied.

Why? You ask? I was happy, I was smiling and then….

I was walking a little slower through the isles, caught people snickering behind me and slowly around me.

I saw little boys, I saw my sisters, I saw my mother, I saw the old lady who could barely see. Among them all, my arms tried to reach those who promised to protect me. Tried with all my might still walked away defeated.

So, I focused my thoughts on a plan. Turned to the world of social media, pills, fads, all filled with wonderful suggestions, sounded authentic……. or so I believed.

Woke up, listened to them, and started testing.

Test number 1,

Test number 2,

…..Test number 347.

Nothing! Maybe a tiny difference?

But they all said this would work. It is now a 347th time?

Sulking in a corner, thoughts come and go, losing hair, skin is dry, tears streaming, body aches, heart is heavy, savings depleted. Health is compromised.

What is wrong? Words echo, cut through the skin. Truly dim witted? Self-esteem is shattered along with self-confidence and more.

Shutting the door to the outside.

The world seems much smaller suddenly. Do I belong? Darkness fills the heart and thoughts.

Struggling to face myself each day, the mirror of reflection is shattered.

Wasted time repeatedly. Unfair to the body for every inch it grew.

Prayed for light.

Suddenly, there it was, a helping hand, trying to wave at me gently. Nudging me to get up and light the ignition of my spirit.

I thought hard and decided to try one last time. Maybe another passing craze.

Words started to circle on to the mirror…Get up, go out, love yourself. You are loved. You are enough! Take care of your gentle heart now.

I look up. No one is pointing or snickering. No little boys, not my sisters, not my mother, and not the old lady who could barely see.

Life is meaningful again, wearing proud me, still a heavier me, a powerhouse me.