poppy seeds and the rain i caught in a cracked test tube.

I write.

I write to explain the words inside me

My bloodstream

Because this is the only way to say it without screaming.

I write, to you,

The girl who takes advantage

Of the doubt seeded deep in me, incubated;

That only needs a flame for it to sprout.

Outside my own pot, the plant that I am -

The roots I've grounded for myself,

Founded in the shadows, the partial sunlight and rain.

The warmth of my own fire cracking that shell

The shell of doubt; you want me to rot from the inside out.

You want me to shrivel under the sun I stay away from,

But you don't recognise the familiar patterns of my leaves.

The similarities between my roots and yours -

The uncertainty, you've said it yourself

It rips and tears and burns its way

Through to the middle of your core.

I hate it, too.

I know it, too.

There is bravery in the unknown

In the unacceptable vulnerability

Existing regardless and because.

I am here to expend the shaking I feel from my stomach

A reaction only to the way the seeds inside me are bursting

Resisting all the dark grey thread you stitched through them.

Warning of the fingernails

That snap threads like spider's silk

Your movements exhausted because what I see is through your

Glass, glass truths.

I've walked this path before

Without the heavy need for fireworks and praise -

Without glass diamonds glued to my skin.

My diamonds erupt from my soul

Glittering the truth of my scars

As the brightest proof of how far I've come.

Never mind their ruthless judgements -

I am a seed who will continue to grow.

~