Pond Daring

i drag and lug my many selves

right on through my every day

constantly prodding and pushing

poking along the way

a

left right

left right

left right

a scuffling metronome

a shuffling bent & grown

a rustling of bushes from seeds unsown

a chorus of shooshes for deeds unknown

dragging and scraping

adjusting and shaping

standing out fitting in

looking fat feeling thin

no amount of whining

offers any real solutions

separating voices from illusions

fed on unmemorable delusions

rising to the surface

knee deep in the shallow end

clinging to a fleeting purchase

relying on another restless mend

self dialogued unfulfillable promises

come as soft whispers tainted

held hostage to the inhalation

held upon a breath, baited

felled beyond a guess, weighted

a breath from somewhere behind the ear

filtered fresh through a silent tear

from the corner of a cold eye

see you later not goodbye

echoes from then, now and tomorrow

fade and are lost inside waves of busy

the relentless beat of today

the vanishing act of in your face

coming last in a one person race

a bubble is not reality

it’s not even a proper place

out in the cold under a pale porch light

another cloudy moonless winters night

i tap away on my phone

pretending i can write

not trying to make it matter

not trying to make it right

trying not to get caught in the teeth

of the things i cannot bite

trying not to taste

the things i don't wanna feel

trying not to waste

the precious moments of real

in ripples and sorrow

reluctance tomorrow

trying not to chew

trying not to swallow

choosing instead to not;

to laze, sloth and wallow