Poem

Here’s Some Nice Poem By A, “Punny” Guy

Puns are nice, but I need a living

so I can get all life is giving,

but I don’t drive and can’t afford a chauffeur.

Each job I’ve tried just turns and kicks me.

I’m broke and need someone to, “fix” me.

If I could bake some bread, I’d be a, ‘loafer.”

I need a job, I’m blue you see,

(that color skin looks weird on me).

It’s really true so that fact, I will mention.

A baker’s one I would be heading

since right now, “dough” is what I’m, “kneading.”

I’m so poor I can barely pay attention.

Some animals with pretty features

are horses, they’re majestic creatures.

To see them run fast sure does make my day.

They’ll galop and have no remorse.

When they get sick, they will be, “horse.”

They won’t say, “Yes,” all they will say is, “Nei-gh-gh-gh!”

Now, dogs are sweet since they’re so loyal

which means good times, they’ll never spoil.

They’re mans-best-friends and help lives to move on.

To be sweet, they can’t get enough

and always make my life less, “Ruff!”

If mine ran off, I’m sure to say, “Dog-gone!”

One bird that’s scared is called a, “chicken”

because though life, it takes a lickin’.

She’s not too fast so life for her gets slowed.

Plus, she is not too fond of flying

but will if that keeps her from frying.

She wants to know, “Why did I cross the road?”

All hogs say, “Oink!” when they’re not fed.

“I’m starving!” is what they’d have said.

They’ll offer love, but it is seldom taken.

Though men can wear the finest digs

they’re labeled chauvinistic, “pigs.”

That’s odd because they will, “bring home the bacon.”

An elephant is mighty big.

Earthquakes start if they’d danse a jog.

They are Republicans, not some old drunks.

Just treat them nice since they’re a jumbo.

Big ears will make them fly like Dumbo.

They love to swim since they’ve all got their, “trunks.”

Most cats are sweet each time they’re purring.

To show their love’s what they’re conferring.

It’s bad when they get stuck up in a tree.

Invite one in to share your dinner.

They’ll think that is a, “purrrrrrr-fect” winner.

To them, dogs cause a sheer, “cat’-tastrophy.”

A frog can live on land or water though,

“Knee-deep!” is where they would aught ‘er.

They’re proud. “I, ‘toad’ you so!” is how they gloat.

They brighten lives in many ways

and always give us, “hoppy” days.

The sick ones have a person in their throat.

Though writing puns does make me happy,

(it helps my days to be more snappy),

I’d rather be a cleaner, chef or nurse.

Woodworking means joy will have soared.

I won’t take naps since I’m not, “board.”

Still, as you see, I’ve gone, “from bed-to-verse.”