Please Expire

I filled a tumbler of Jack

Dove in without looking back

Your memory tried to surface for air

I grabbed it fully by the nape and hair

Wrestled it into the bottle, held it under

Grabbed it’s pulsing throat, rent it asunder

It shook, struggled, eyes pled for relief

I shoved the harder for it’s power to cease

Just drown… Expire … Asphyxiate

Please just allow me to strangulate

You clamber up on the next stool

Your undying corpse calls me a fool

Blood not hers but mine own infernal bleeding

Defibrillator shocks my heart unheeding

Poured another shot of forgetfulness

But Jack was practicing deceitfulness

In the bottom of the bottle… your smiles

In the swirling glass your teasing wiles

Tried to sweeten the mellow with soda

Meditate on “Just do” like Yoda

From my swamp arose not a ship

But a feeling like her brushing lips

Tingling across my neck like a spider

Looking for prey, a safe place to hide her

A whisper of your poison tipped fingers

Brushing my spine where your touch still lingers

Reaching over my shoulder I grasped for a phantom

Evading, your memory crowed liked like a bantam

Light reflects on glass in sweet mirage

Shimmering prism of want on my eyes a barrage

Jack and coke…Alcohol and smoke

Alone in my crowded brain with a joke

Taking a gulp I approach the iceberg

Repairs on my hull paper mache patchwork

Die! Why won’t your memory just expire?

Instead, lining my borders, a poisonous barbed wire

Your lustrous hair in the swirling brown

Sheen of your eyes on glass’ moisture laden crown

Your sultry voice from the jukebox

Your perfumed shampoo in her long locks

Flickering fluorescent bulb a movie reel

Bogart, Bacall, that old romantic feel

Marilyn my favorite, Gable yours

Playing our tragedy, classic cocktail pours

Love won, love lost .. Bloody remains

A boy trying not to go insane

Godfather come to collect on his favor

No horse head, but your betrayal to savor

Lights flicker as my heart is electrocuted

For love in the first degree tried, prosecuted

My existence lingers in a cell of guilts

Life without parole as my joy wilts

Soon I’ll have to stumble home

Where my dear no longer doth roam

My antelope spotted home on the range

Populated by shades, wispy phantasms strange

As I pray for an encouraging word

Neath cloudy skies brown as buffalo turd

Turn on a light to illuminate emptiness

Listen to neighbors snuggle, laugh… envious

In the bathroom mirror another universe

Behind my reflection your double in reverse

Flowing like silent silk in beauty garbed

Birds warbling from tree branches barbed

My hand will reach out to touch the ghost

Of my torture rooms evil host

Your tools of pain laid out on a gossamer veil

Your hairbrush lined with nails

Your forgotten bobby pin

Sears my soul like horrendous sin

Your lip print on a tissue part

Poisoned like a curare dart

With cat of nine tails my soul is stroked

With our song my throat is chained, yoked

My bedroom, cold, a forlorn iron maiden

Slamming closed, blood covered spike laden

Your betrayal with him an image seared

Across mind’s eye, sight ever feared

Pour another bourbon jigger

Praying for surcease, a memory killer