Persephone Talks Back

Mother,

I cannot wait to be

Deep in the caverns of the world.

My sun tarnished tresses tumbling past trembling shoulders

To make way for a darker color

That brushes newly pale shoulders

Caressed by vibrant silks

Held in place by jewel encrusted pins.

Gifts from my husband who missed me

In my forced absence.

The sun was once my suitor.

The gentle earth my overbearing mother.

The streams, rivers and trees my eternal watchers.

You are too young, they said,

To innocent for this world.

Where would you be without us?

To keep you safe?

To keep you sheltered?

To keep me blind.

I have found one can long for things you do not know,

Not realizing they were missing

Till the cracks had been filled.

A hand,

Presented in vulnerability

A chance to run away.

Something new

Something I hadn’t seen

I wanted to be alone.

Or have a connection

That wasn’t superficial.

To be observed

Not watched.

Protected but not smothered.

Balance was what I sought

And that is what he brought.

Tall, dark, and lonely.

How long can he spend alone in the dark?

How many judgments can he make

Without feeling judged himself?

To be constantly upright,

Unable to falter

Or else your Father and his followers would be released.

How can one bear such a burden

Without something to lighten the load?

Perpetually kept young.

Perpetually trimmed like a manicured garden.

Maintaining a spring like image.

I want to be wild.

A flower that grows in the cracks of the earth,

Alone except for the stone that supports it.

I want life with a little more meaning

A little deeper connection

Strong roots against secure anchors.

I am the only bright thing in his world

And he is my strength

My gracious lover, attender to every need.

I am not passed over anymore.

No longer a bud in a garden of flowers.

I have been transplanted.

Taken from the overcrowded, clamoring garden,

Allowed to bloom in a place

With enough space to press my limits.

All those things

You said I would never be.

Look at me now.

What do you see?

Am I as timid as you wanted?

You spit your words at me,

Now that you’ve taken me back

To your over crowded, superficial

Cacophony of a conservatory turned Coliseum.

All heads turn to me now,

To witness this scene you cause.

Vixen.

Whore.

Dirty.

How could I?

What was I thinking?

To stay willingly in the darkness?

Well I ask you this.

Who are you to stay in the light?

When I have watched as your guilt

Processed passed my lover and I.

Do you know the pain you brought him?

The sleepless nights? The never touched plates?

The “I’m not hungry dear,” dinners,

Or the “Go without me, I’ll join you as soon as I can,” evenings,

The nights I lay alone, waiting for him

Only to wake and find him asleep at his desk.

We may live forever

But I swear his body wasted away before my eyes.

While he worked himself so much

That the Judge was worried for his own immortal soul,

You ignored your work.

Froze the world.

Killed those who loved you.

You say he stole me,

But you drove me to him in the first place.

And now all you want is to forget?

Forget the cold?

The hunger?

Wash it away with frigid warmth,

False smiles, biting words

Smoothed over by controlling touches?

I think not.

I think

That you want me to stay

Young,

Innocent,

Stupid.

Not because it’s good for me,

But because you never outgrew that stage yourself.

Froze your time at the moment of my birth.

Took your world

And wrapped it tight around me like a swaddling cloth.

Maybe you thought that would solve everything.

If you could control me

You could control your world.

But I am more then you.

You are a part of me, yes.

I love you. I do.

But while you made me your everything,

He became mine.

He loved me enough to let me go.

He loved me enough to tell me everything.

He gave books, and stories,

And nights where tears carved relived memories down his cheeks

And I took them,

And gave my own back in return.

I was not lesser with him,

Even though I am so much younger.

I was equal.

I was taught.

Respected.

Listened to.

I was Queen.

I am Queen.

To Him.

To his people.

The only one who doesn’t seem to see

My new mantle of smoke and fire,

Is you.

But then again.

It’s always about you, isn’t it?

But your time with me is up.

I willingly run from this

Too sweet, surface.

Back to my home

To my love

To my world

Where the fires of Phlegethon light our skies

And Asphodel reflect the souls

That move throughout my wild gardens.

Back to my window seat in his office

With my table and my tea.

Half a pomegranate each.

How we should be.

He does his work.

I keep him calm.

And when it all gets too much

I turn off the light,

Guide him out the doors,

To our room.

Where I’ll hold him

Till the stress falls from his shoulders.

Then the next morning

He’ll kiss me awake

Tell me about his dreams

Or the trips we will take.

That is a life.

It’s not superficial

Or perfect,

But that’s all I want.

So, beg again.

Tell me why I should stay.

Can you offer me that?

What are you willing to pay?

You offer me flowers, veiled words covered in spite.

I don’t think you were listening.

You don’t need to tell me I’m right.

I’m going back home

To where my happiness is.

He waits for me now.

With the lights all lit.

Probably waiting at the shore.

He’s my perfect fit.

Who is better for life?

Than death?

There is more to the story then you will remember,

But most of that you will forget.

You’ll tell the world

What you think happened.

It won’t be right

But maybe, just maybe

Someday you’ll ask me

To tell the story again.

Of how we fell in love in moment

And have been that way ever since.

No Longer Yours,

~Persephone

Queen of the Dead