Overdue
.
I’ve long waited to write this
But now it’s over due
My words that felt so strong
Are brittle and broken, so torn
He mocks me for all the torment of being struck
He doesn’t see the struggle that a body carries inside that has leftover fractures from his beatings
Emotional ghosts that hang off me like a oversized coat that itches, heavy, ugly
He pretends to be tone deaf to the loudness of our disconnect, the musical entropy of our last, rattling breaths
He mocks my writing career as nothing because it doesn’t pay the bills
He mocks everything I am, the movies I like, the books I like, the words I choose to speak
All of my writing would’ve ceased to exist because when we would argue over little things, he’d harass me that I had to delete everything
He does not beat me anymore physically because I told everyone what he did
But his cold silences and cruel tempers beat my heart with his vehement words
He may not call me whore, slut, cunt, bitch, kike (a Jewish slur)
But he wraps his snake-like rattle against my esophagus to feed me lies that I’m free
I’ve lost more than flesh and bone, more than soft shells that could’ve been my new home
Mocking my escape by keeping me on a loose chain
Mocking my searing fire inside that he suffocated slowly
I’ve lost more than words and ships that never sail
And this poem is hanging above us like dead air mocking me as I feel hopeless to move
My life has become as overdue as this poem
I inch forward but I can’t really go anywhere
Overdue like a bill
I’m slowly dying inside after my death was announced
Trying to reanimate something that is long gone
It’s so overdue you will not read it
Will you?
About the Creator
Keep reading
More stories from Melissa Ingoldsby and writers in Poets and other communities.
Comments (12)
Very deep and very sad, but excellent poem! Sending love to anyone that relates to this ❤️
Each line added another layer of weight until the heaviness was crushing. It's awful that anyone carries this mantle for any period of time. I hope that safety and healing is the path forward. Sending hugs for experiencing this or seeing someone else dealing with it. And a thank you for highlighting situations that often brew and fester in private.
❤️❤️❤️💫🙏🤍🕊️
So sad, too bad it's so many women's reality. Congratulations on top story. 🎉🎉🎉
I had to read this one with care. Melissa, I truly hope this is not your story. I've been there. I also do not want to trigger anything, if, sadly enough, it is. What I will do instead is congratulate you on your top story and tell you how talented you are. You need to hear this, know this. Sending hugs and well wishes your way❣
These words stop a reader in their tracks. Impossible to ignore as the imagery violently sucks in the air we all need to breathe. It speaks to a reality and how it feels, so I'm glad it was top-storied. If anyone is subject to this type of behaviour in any form, know that your expression is divinity-inspired preciousness, and must be protected and valued at all costs.
Back to say congratulations on your Top Story! 🎉💖🎊🎉💖🎊
❤️Congratulations on your Top Story 🎊 👏
Omgggg Merly, I just hope this isn't your own experience 🥺🥺🥺
This is such a strong piece. Thank you for sharing something so personal. I hope this is a situation you are looking back on. Because you are worthy not just of loving someone else, but of being loved, and feeling happiness too. 👏👏✨
This is Deep💙Just because a snake 🐍 sheds their skin, it doesn't change who they are... For whom it may concern- Don't be Afraid to let go of what's not for you.
I feel the despair in this poem. I hope you are ok, Melissa. You are such a sweet person, you deserve to be appreciated. People usually put others down because they are not happy about themselves. A narcissist put others down or make others feel bad so they feel good sadly. I hope you have a good support system to lift you up. Hugs and blessing! 🙏🏽💞