Over There
a quick hook into the river of dreams
i ran around in my dreams last light
hassling everyone there i met
the old and the new and a version of you
i kept so i wouldn't forget
no one could tell me where she went
no one had even seen her pass
yet i recall a split second of her presence
but nothing then lingered or lasts
i wandered and searched for what seemed like an age
and kept coming up empty handed
it's like they could see and they knew
and her absence was just as they'd planned it
i scoured the nooks and examined the crannies
up and into every alcove i could find
into the paths that all led and bled
in me in my heart and my mind
i was at the crossroads of the real and the imagined
using my heart as a rudimentary map
i could see and feel where i'd be been
and what i would have to do to get back
of returning i had no intention at all
but instead of beginning it felt like an end
i want to stay here and i want play here
over there...where my crazy is my friend
About the Creator
Bren
"It's just a token of my extreme!" - Frank Zappa
"Cause it's all in the heat of the moment It's all in the pain!!!" - Devin Townsend
Centre Stage with the wonderful Heather Hubler
I'm writing it out not acting in doubt!
Reader insights
Outstanding
Excellent work. Looking forward to reading more!
Top insights
Compelling and original writing
Creative use of language & vocab
Excellent storytelling
Original narrative & well developed characters
Eye opening
Niche topic & fresh perspectives
Heartfelt and relatable
The story invoked strong personal emotions
On-point and relevant
Writing reflected the title & theme
Expert insights and opinions
Arguments were carefully researched and presented
Easy to read and follow
Well-structured & engaging content
Comments (16)
This was so deep! You're so amazing with your words. Congratulations on your Top Story!
Paranoia...obsession..."scouring nooks and crannies"..."it's like they could see and they knew, and her absence was just as they planned it" Really enjoyed this piece and the tempo was perfect for the mood of it.
I enjoyed reading about your journey to the land of dreams. Thanks for sharing!
This is a beautifully written poem that captures the essence of the dreaming mind. The imagery is vivid and the emotions are palpable as the speaker searches for a lost presence in their dream world. The use of repetition in the first stanza effectively emphasizes the speaker's desperation to hold onto memories of their loved one. The metaphor of the crossroads between the real and the imagined is a powerful one, and the way the speaker navigates through this space using their heart as a map is both poetic and insightful. The final line of the poem is particularly striking, as the speaker expresses a desire to stay in the dream world where their "crazy is [their] friend." Overall, this poem is a testament to the power of dreams to help us process our emotions and explore the deepest parts of ourselves. The language is lyrical and the emotions are raw, making for a truly memorable reading experience.
Good read. It's fun chasing your thoughts. Well done on being a TS!
Very deep: I found the different meanings of her and friend: excellent! Congratulations on top story!
very well done. Loved the ending. Congrats
wow
I enjoyed this poem very much, but couldn't figure out what you intended with the second to last line, "i want to stay i here and i want play here," unless it was simply supposed to introduce crazy as your friend.
Wow
I really enjoy the story in this one. Interesting tempo and I'm stumbling a little on the next-to-the-last last line, but overall, it's great. Congratulations on Top Story!
The wording here is sort of bulky in some areas, but to me it works. Like this is really thought out! Nice work!
Wonderful piece. Congrats on the TS
Some really beautiful language in this. I enjoyed it. Loved this line especially, 'using my heart as a rudimentary map'. Congratulations on Top Story!
This is seamlessly exquisite. At the end of this, there is a little bit of clunkiness - that honestly I wouldn't have noticed if the whole intro and middle weren't so elegant, but that's something I can never avoid when trying to get something posted by a certain timeframe. Overall, your work adheres to such a beautiful tempo and paints a rich message that I immediately was swept away by. I'm subscribing and loving.
Nice❤️