Conversations I have In My Head At The Grocery Store..."no, no, no, please, go right ahead... it's obvious to me now just how important you really ARE, heaven forbid you'd have to wait in line, with the rest of us peons. I am just so sorry I didn't recognise how important you were, before I got in your way."
OR......
"Sure, stop in the middle of the freaking isle for your impromptu class reunion, I don't have anywhere to be, and EVERYONE wants to know how Billy Bob is."
"Yup, that WAS my ankle...forgive me for assuming you saw me standing here."
"I'm sorry, what? Oh...you're not talking to me, you're on your phone - while we all wait for you to unload your cart..."
"Please, excuse me for standing here in your way - picking this item off of the shelf, as you squeeze yourself in front of me to get past...I didn't realize I had my cloak of invisibility on today."
"Yeah, I saw you bag that without scanning it....now what you gonna do?"
"Oh my gosh! This is a parking lot, not a private sidewalk, ya moron!"
"You are literally standing next to the cart return, get your cart out from behind my car, what is wrong with you?"
"Oh my gosh....WALK!!!"
"heavy sigh....If my kid ever acted like that....whew!"
"27 lanes and 2 are open. Excuse me, what's the quota for the number of people in line before you open another register, 50?"
"Yes lady, the end of an aisle is just like an intersection, you should look BOTH ways before exiting."
"UGH, PEOPLE!!"
I didn't say that outloud, did I?
***
I am sure I have missed something...please feel free to tell me your tales. :)
About the Creator
Kelli Sheckler-Amsden
Telling stories my heart needs to tell <3 life is a journey, not a competition
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More stories from Kelli Sheckler-Amsden and writers in Poets and other communities.
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Miss Persephone was found at the dining table, her blue eyes swollen, her tears arriving and retreating like the tides of the ocean. Earlier that day, her family had visited her in the retirement home where she had lived for eight years. It was her eightieth birthday.
By Imola Tóth3 days ago in Fiction
Comments (5)
I love this Kelli, you're not alone in these feelings. Maybe we are both crazy, I have the same thoughts every time I go shopping. One of my pet hates is people who doddle up the aisles and stop in the middle so you can't get past them.
I watched a mother allow her kids to open cans of biscuits and play with them. She just stood there. I remember thinking she needed a Super Nanny... Yes, of course, I went and got the manager. Those kids and she needed obvious help...
Fortunately, I can honestly say that yes, you are more important than I am. Please, after you. Whenever you're ready.
haha. this is fantastic and I'm sure I've said, or at least thought, all of them.!
Lol… and ugh!!! I feel ya. “Did you bring a muzzle for your child who can’t stop whining about shit they don’t need” Or “Um, can you have your reunion with old neighbors somewhere other than this small ass aisle?” The deli counter is the worst. I avoid them at all costs, haha. Good one, Kelli. We/I share your pain.