Ok, I admit it...

.

Ok, I admit it...

By

Ross e f Lombardi.

.

Ok, I admit It.

I admit that I am struggling a little bit.

I admit I am bruising my own soul a little bit.

I admit that I am flirting with the void a little bit

.

Ok, I can see it.

I can see the value in numbness.

I can understand a longing for this nightmare to stop.

I can feel the seduction of 'self-ending'.

.

Ok. I admit that I Do want it.

I DO want to quit.

I DO want to end.

I DO want the comfortable cloth of forever nothingness.

.

Ok, I'll try it.

Try Just a little.

Try, To walk,

Just a little bit.

Try, To notice random street strangers in their lives.

Just a tiny bit.

Try, To hold on just a bit longer,

Just a bit.

.

I can't keep doing this forever.

Forever is too large,

Too big,

Too impossible to do.

.

Ok, I admit that I can't do forever.

No one could!

No one is that strong!

In the face of this sickness.

It cannot be done!

Definitely not a weak shity wuss like me!

.

But maybe I can go down swinging?

But maybe I can go down fighting...!

Just for a second.

.

Only a single second.

I Just have to last the next second.

Never looking too close at the second after that.

Or the one after that.

Or that,

Or that,

Or that,

Or that one, over there.

.

Ok I admit it.

I can hold on just one more second.

Just one more moment,

Just one final moment more.

Maybe I can beat the next moment.

Just a moment more.

.

Maybe I can beat this stalking monster.

The thing that wants to murder me.

Just one more time.

Just once more

One more.

Just one.

One.

One?

One!

Until the next.

.

I may not be able to do much...

Admit much...

I may be useless and weak.

But...

Lasting a moment?

That is something I CAN admit to!

.