Now that I'm home

Descending slowly, moving through the fog,

it begins with moments but eventually takes all.

My silence is defending,

my body feels weak,

my words catch and fall when I’m trying to speak.

The shame begins to grow; the pain is every day,

working to feel anything, even if it’s not the same.

Falling into false words,

I always deny,

I say I don’t need help, even as I cry.

The darkness takes over,

I fear for my soul,

then I start to wonder,

If I am this broken,

could I have ever been whole?

But then I come back to myself; I realize I survived.

The tears run down my face; it was worth it to try.